I don’t watch too many Tedx films, but I did recently watch one that struck a chord. An amusing one that I’ve been reflecting on is by a guy called Frederik Imbo. He’s a Dutch actor and part-time football referee, and it’s all about ‘it’s not about me’.
Basically, it teaches you how not to take things personally. Because more often than not, it’s not you, it’s them. So if you’re reacting to something, put yourself in the shoes of the person who may or may not be accusing you of something, and actually work out what’s up with them.
It’s opened my eyes to be more reflective around what’s up with other people. If you can put yourself in their shoes, you can hopefully help them to overcome their issues or at least see things through their lenses. So there’s a big dose of empathy in there which has allowed me to focus on maintaining a positive mindset. As in, you don’t need to take things personally, because it’s not about you, it’s about someone else’s problem. It’s not your problem, so don’t take it personally.
It’s not a black and white one. And it’s only 16-17 minutes of podcast. But he goes on to say, if it actually is about you, because there are often different shades of grey in there, then at least you’re exploring and empathising with yourself, and working out what it might be about. And that will help you to improve your communication and actually build empathy with other people so you can find a balance.
I’ve listened to it about three times in a row because I thought got it, but I wasn’t sure if I really got it. It’s one of those where you need to think through some of the themes discussed and apply to personal examples.